Welcome to Geniusland

Sheep

2007-08-13T10:51:00.000-07:00

When reminiscing about the trip to Scotland, I think the following is the most important story to recount. It turns out that Scotland has loads of sheep, which I discovered as we drove past field after field of them. At one point, however, we passed a field in which a single black sheep stood out among dozens of white ones. I paused for a moment, then laughed and thought, "Ha! I get it!!"

Terrorism in Spanish Houses

2007-08-09T08:03:00.000-07:00

When I came out of the restroom at Borders the other day, there was a guy on the floor who had apparently just thrown up and passed out while I was in there. I felt like I had just walked into the beginning of a 'House' episode. I really hope the guy doesn't die of some rare brain tumor next week.

As I was walking into the town center the other day, I noticed a discarded pacifier on the sidewalk. Unconcerned, I continued on my way. As I was about to turn into a shop, I saw ANOTHER pacifier lying on the ground. One, sure, but two? I don't see how this could have been a coincidence. I've deduced that it must either be some sort of terrorist plot that uses children's toys to mark a site, or this town has a disproportionately large number of clumsy children. Either way, it's disconcerting.

Apparently, I'm still easily distracted by Spanish men. For some reason, I just seem to lose all sense of reality when I see them. There weren't any repeats of Starbucks theft this time, but there were definitely a couple of times that I got a little off track. I think that, if anything, a Spanish man will one day be my downfall. That or impulse shopping.

Brunch

2007-06-11T11:03:00.000-07:00

i'm starting to think that this whole interacting with other people thing might be beneficial after all. yesterday, for example, instead of having the usual breakfast menu of frosties (which, don't get me wrong, i absolutely adore), i was invited to brunch. and this wasn't just some haphazard gathering; these girls went all out. the selection included pancakes, bacon, a variety of fruits, quiche, some kind of apple creation, yogurt, coffee, a selection of juices, along with homemade whipped cream and chocolate sauce. my friend even made a latte for me. given that breakfast is my favorite meal, you can imagine my excitement. i had pancakes with bananas and chocolate sauce!!! so, at least for the time being, i'm pro-social.

An Afternoon Adventure and the Reinstatement of a French Lunch

2007-06-09T13:16:00.000-07:00

this story took place one day during a much cooler period in cambridge. i had originally intended to work through the lunch break between classes, but decided against it when i saw what a nice day it was outside. it was sunny and warm and just generally gorgeous. in honor of this amazing day, i decided to go in search of a french lunch and have a picnic. m & s helped me out, and i got a baguette, some cheese, and a tiny bottle of wine. i couldn't decide where to have my picnic, so i thought i would just head back toward the cms until i found a good spot. as i strolled along, i noticed that the fields behind trinity looked fairly nice, so i made my way over. i started to walk out onto the green when a sign saying something to the effect of "members of trinity only" caught my eye. i hesitated for a moment, then thought, "well, i seriously doubt they're going to card me or anything like that," so picked out a spot and sat down. i then had a very enjoyable lunch and proceeded to take a nap. after a couple of minutes, i could sense a shadow overhead. i opened my eyes and saw a man standing over me. my first thought was, "fuck, they really are going to card me!" i take my earphones out and stand up. the guy then introduces himself as a photographer and wants to know if he can take my picture in front of some daffodils. so, i checked his credentials and thought, "what the hell?" well, he took some, gave me his card, and left. he said that i could e-mail him if i wanted some copies, but i never did. all in all, it was quite an interesting afternoon.

You Knew This Was Coming/Ode to Chris

2007-06-09T12:39:00.000-07:00

if you thought for a minute that i was going to forget to write a blog about the chris concert, you were severely mistaken. ok, here goes. the concert was held at the astoria in london. i freakin loved the venue. i don't really know the history behind it, but apparently it has one. i really liked the look of it, which, of course, i know i will never be able to describe here. basically, it just looked like a place where some serious shit had gone down. it was a small place, kind of club-like, with two basic levels: the floor in front of the stage and the balcony. the balcony was tiered with booths and tables, and i was standing on the railing at the front of the balcony level. this gave me the perfect view because no tall people could stand in front of me. there were no restrictions on cameras, so everyone (including me) freaked out. the concert itself was amazing. he wasn't attached to any band, and the venue was so small that the whole thing was pretty informal. he just seemed so cool about everything; he would tell jokes and stories in between songs and was having several mini conversations with people in the audience. at one point he wanted all of us to wave our phones and lighters back and forth in the air; he assured us that there was a point to this. once we all started doing it, he told us that he had just wanted to us to do it because it looked really cool from where he was standing. i just thought, "wow, chris, you're so funny!" he basically played whatever he wanted; he did stuff from soundgarden, audioslave, temple of the dog, and both solo albums. the best moment of the concert had to be the cover of 'billie jean.' i saw some guy describe it as 'haunting,' and i think that that definitely captures it. i'm proud to say that, unlike the last time, i did manage to suppress any orgasmic tendencies during the concert. i was in total control. and yes, he still sounds AMAZING! he just does things vocally that no human should be able to do. it's no wonder that people often describe him as a god.

Beer and Hot Dogs

2007-06-01T12:07:00.000-07:00

i'm going to try to be better about actually writing blogs as things happen, so here goes. i recently attended the 34th annual cambridge beer festival. i have to say it was pretty cool. everything was set up under a tent in one of the park areas. admission was free; all you had to do was pay for/rent a cup and choose your pint! i don't remember the numbers, but there were a ton of choices (beer, cider, and foreign beers) all along the walls of this giant tent. there was also food, so we basically just had a nice lunch on the one sunny day in the middle of all the rain.

my friends and i have decided to go to esbjerg, denmark, for a few days next week. i think it's a really tiny town without much to see, but the flight was 2p, so that's our home base. we're going to spend a day in copenhagen at some point. the primary goal of our trip is to eat a hot dog in copenhagen (yes, this is my influence); we're pretty flexible on everything else. we might go to the beach or look at some seals. personally, i just want to know how to pronounce the name of the town. i've also decided that i do hope we run into roland, at least for the sake of entertainment. do they have corner stores in denmark? details to follow...

also, i think i'm going to try to read the whole harry potter series (starting from book #2) before the last one comes out.

Finis

2007-06-01T11:50:00.000-07:00

This post has been deleted.

May Update

2007-05-18T15:04:00.000-07:00

2 weeks until the exam
3 1/2 weeks until the internship starts
5 assignments to go

i'm still on a mission to find ihop-like food. the constant downpour day after day is really starting to weigh on my nerves. i've discovered that sainsbury's sells pre-packaged, sliced red apples. it's not quite the same as getting the pre-packaged slices of both red AND green apples from the shell station around the corner, but it does mean i can manage to go a little longer between shell runs. by extension, there are less encounters with the creepy shell man who seems to be there all day every day. instead of falling into my usual routine of jeans and a t-shirt every day, i'm trying to make more of an effort with my attire. i realized today, as i caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, however, that i'm not so much making more of an effort as i am just picking up pieces of clothing and accessories and assembling them together at random. i feel like i spend a large portion of my day waiting for anya to get off of work, so i can call her (10pm for me). i'm really disappointed that i missed the memo about a visit by the president of iraq, and it's too late to get a ticket. when i woke up the other day, i couldn't really move my right arm, and it felt kind of tingly. at first i thought i might be having a stroke, but then i realized that it had only fallen asleep because i had been lying on it. i just booked a flight for 2p.

An AMAZING Day

2007-05-09T17:42:00.000-07:00

My Easter was fabulous. To begin with, it was an absolutely gorgeous day, and I was wearing my new purple skirt. I ate lunch at Auntie's (naturally). I got my "Times are hard for dreamers" picture. I saw 3 guys who were holding up signs advertising free hugs, so of course I took advantage. Oxfam was the closest thing to a bookshop that was open; I found this really great book of illustrated children's stories that looks like it's been out of print for at least 30 years. I also saw a hot pink limo parked outside this shop that I am convinced is some kind of front for the British mafia. I completely abandoned any pretense of working and spent the whole day doing absolutely nothing.

Random Comments and Observations

2007-05-09T16:31:00.000-07:00

I saw a guy fall off his bike in the middle of an intersection the other day. He was wearing an Iron Maiden shirt, so I felt sorry for him. I have discovered secret doors in two different places. One is in the dining hall of my friend's college, and the other is in the downstairs seating area of Starbucks. If this wasn't immediately interesting, let me emphasize the fact that these are doors that look like part of the wall!! If I ever have a house, I want it to have secret doors. Apparently, there is also a hunting dog gravesite in the Fellows' garden of that same friend's college. I told her that she should try to have her own Harry Potter adventure over there. The traffic lights here change to yellow before they turn green. It makes me feel like I'm in Mario Kart, except that there's no engine to rev on my bike (or when I'm walking...). I saw a bird walk from one side of the road to the other, and I wished it had been a chicken because THAT would have been funny. When I was in London, I walked past the premiere of Factory Girl. I could see that they were talking to three girls, but I couldn't see who they were. Since I didn't see Hayden anywhere, I just decided to move on.

The Good Ol' Days

2007-03-17T11:05:00.000-07:00

When I walk through the city centre around lunchtime, I often pass a guy on the sidewalk playing his guitar. As I was walking along the other day, however, I noticed that he was not in his usual place. I wondered why he was now playing on a corner on the opposite side of the block. As I continued on, I soon found the answer. Another guitar player had taken his spot! This reminded me of those most wonderful days of Gilmore Girls when they had the dueling troubadours!!! Ah, the memories...

I Freaked Out About Flowers Again

2007-03-17T10:41:00.000-07:00

Cilantro Mission

2007-03-17T09:30:00.000-07:00

This is the story of how I was sent into foreign territory on a mission of the utmost importance. The mission: buy some cilantro for a Thai soup; the place: the vegetable section of Sainsbury's. My friend, Silvi, was planning to cook dinner (the aforementioned Thai soup). Seeing as how I could obviously not contribute to the actual cooking in any way, I volunteered to get the remaining ingredient: the cilantro. Armed with the knowledge of what cilantro actually is (Silvi directed me to some informative websites), I was ready to set out. I cautiously approached that green area of the store, not quite knowing what to expect. As I walked along the shelves, I passed countless bags of leaves (actually considered by some to be food for human consumption). Suddenly, on my right, there appeared containers with some sort of vegetation packed in soil (food that is still growing?!? i don't think so!). At this point I started to worry that I might never find it, but there, at the end of the aisle, I saw a glimmer of hope. I approached...and yes, just what I needed. Coriander leaves. I purchased them, took them over to Eva Smith, and watched as Silvi used them to finish the soup. The mission: a success.

Good News

2007-03-02T16:25:00.000-08:00

I'm not asexual.

Stephen

2007-02-27T13:26:00.000-08:00

Well, it finally happened. Today, February 27, 2007, at approximately 3:17pm, I saw Stephen Hawking. He came through one of the common rooms as my friends and I were having tea. It was amazing. My life is now complete.

Speaking of Fire...

2007-02-24T17:15:00.000-08:00

My favorite part about being in the UK thus far has been to observe the British fear of fire. Granted, the capital city did virtually burn to the ground, but that was centuries ago! We actually do have more advanced building materials now. You can't get access to anything here without going over fire safety first. Every single door in every single room of every single building is marked as a fire exit (which almost makes the labels seem pointless). We went to hear Handel's Messiah, and some guy came to the front at the beginning to tell everyone where all of the fire exits were. No joke. When I first moved in, I heard a British girl say that the first thing she thought about the house when she got here was, "What are we going to do if there's a fire; there's only one exit?" Even if I were given an infinite amount of time, that would NEVER have occurred to me. On several occasions, I have seen people moved about in restaurants to make sure that all fire paths are clear. I just don't understand the paranoia.

Where's the Fire?

2007-02-24T09:36:00.000-08:00

I often find that as I calmly walk along, I am frequently passed by individuals rushing past me at full speed. Why is that? Who are these people, and where are they going that they feel they must run to get there? I would understand if this happened at the airport or the train station, but I'm talking about people on the street. And I'm not just talking about one occurrence here; I see this all the time. I can't think of any reason, barring death, for which I would just take off. I'm like Jerry. I choose not to run.

A General Update

2007-02-24T09:21:00.000-08:00

First of all, I really hate the fact that this site always comes up in German, and I don't know how to change it, not being able to read German and all. Maybe all that will be solved this summer because I've recently decided that I'm going to try to get my new German friend to help me learn the language. I really like her, and I think she would meet the Anya-Sa-ra-Bryant-Mandy standard. I tried to shop a bit today, so I went into this store that I've been eyeing for a while. I saw some REALLY great stuff but was very disappointed to find that I didn't actually like any of it on me. I have GOT to get to promod. I have recently been making a hobby of going to formal halls at other colleges. It's a pretty good way of exploring, plus the fact that I get to eat food that someone else prepared. The weather here is actually really nice. As it turns out, I seem to have moved to a warmer climate, which is always my goal. My biggest thing right now is trying to organize my travel plans. I really want to make sure I see what I want to see. The fighting season is about to begin in Spain, and I'm also on the lookout for a couple of film festivals. I'm also trying to plan for some more naked beach time. I found out that we will have to be interviewed for our internships this summer, which is NEVER something I want to hear. Tonight I'm going to some party, and all I know about it is that there will be lingerie and a chocolate fountain. Very intriguing.

Chivalry is Not Yet Dead

2007-02-08T09:39:00.000-08:00

To be fair, I feel that I must take this opportunity to give a nod to chivalry. It's nice, but I generally find it somewhat insulting, and, as mentioned on several occasions, I do not give points for "niceness." I had an experience a couple of weeks ago, however, that I think warrants some appreciation. I was at a meeting in a lecture hall, but I didn't have a seat because I had gotten there late (I love the fact that 90% of my stories start out that way). I was standing with a group of people at the back in the dark about to have a fucking heat stroke because I had rushed all the way over there. After about half an hour, this guy sitting in front of me turns around, sees me standing up, and offers his seat to me. I was tempted to decline and proudly stand with the rest for the next couple of hours. After a brief consideration, however, I thought, "Hey, I'm really fucking tired, and this guy is the only person in here who is willing to sacrifice his seat for me. There's really no reason I should prevent him from doing so." Thus, I took his seat, and he took the floor. Amazing.

In Defense of Awkward People

2007-01-31T10:55:00.000-08:00

Ok, only a few hours after I made my big speech about the ridiculousness of Francis being awkward, I had the following experience. I went by our student office at night to pick up some papers. It was late in the evening on a Sunday, so I didn't really expect anyone to be there. I walk in and see some people from my course. They look up, so I awkwardly say "Hi." Then I just walked over, picked up the papers and left without saying anything else. I have no idea what they thought, but I would say that it would be perfectly valid for them to think "Wow, what a bitch." In reality, I was just caught off guard by unexpectantly being thrown into contact with people, but I could easily see how it could be viewed otherwise. For a minute there, I almost forgot that I must be the most ridiculously awkward person I know. Now I remember.

I Wish This Was My Life

2007-01-27T18:10:00.000-08:00

I planned to go to a movie tonight, and, naturally, I was running late. I walked as fast as I could and got there about a minute before it was supposed to start. When I bought my ticket, the woman told me that the show wouldn't actually start for another half hour. There had been a typo in the program. I was early!!!

George is Dead

2007-01-27T18:02:00.000-08:00

I found George's body in my room the other day (George is (or was, I guess) a ladybug who lived in my room). I also found a friend of his, likewise deceased, by the window. It was a sad day.

A Great Moment

2007-01-25T15:00:00.000-08:00

Tonight I attended a formal hall for the math, computer science, and education people at my college. I was seated near one of the math professors. She told one of the most amazing stories I've ever heard, and it was all I could do to keep from crying. Women were not allowed to get a degree at Cambridge until 1948. So, in 1998, some people in the university thought it would be a good idea to celebrate the 50th anniversary. They decided to invite all the women who were there before 1948 so that they could recognize them now. They expected to have about 200 people participate. They ended up having some 900 people respond. The age range was about 72-98. There were so many women there that they had to have 3 separate ceremonies. They all got to wear gowns for the first time. Part of the graduation ceremony involves walking from the college to the senate house in the town center (the actual graduation ceremony takes place in the senate house). The first group to go was the over 80 category, and over half of them opted to walk. As they were walking up the steps to the senate house, the church bells across the street began to chime in celebration of the ceremony. One of the women stopped and asked, "Did you hear that? Is there a wedding?" A woman assisting with the ceremony replied, "No, those are for you."

Life Up Close

2007-01-25T14:38:00.000-08:00

Today I saw an accident on my walk home. It wasn't a bumper-to-bumper, though, it was a car-person accident. I must have come along just after it happened because the ambulence passed me on its way. I tried not to stare when I walked by but first of all, I wanted to make sure it wasn't someone I knew, and secondly, I just couldn't help it. There was this guy lying on the street with a blanket over him, and some girl was sitting with him. At first I thought he was unconscious (or dead), but then I saw him blink and nod his head a little. A crowd was starting to gather around him, but I didn't want to turn him into a spectacle, so I kept on going. I don't know what happened to him. The whole thing was just very strange. I mean, I've been with people who have hurt themselves, but this was different somehow. It kind of freaked me out.

The Black Swan

2007-01-25T14:31:00.000-08:00

I saw the black swan again on my first day back in the UK. I do not yet know what a black swan sighting means, but I think it must mean something.

the power of long hair (and accents)

2007-01-22T12:59:00.000-08:00

(while hair is specifically addressed here, the same applies to accents.)

what IS it about long hair that is so hot??? i mean, just the sight of long hair makes any other personal characteristics irrelevant. a person with long hair doesn't have to be cute, intelligent, entertaining, or in any way possess admirable qualities of any sort. such a person must only exist with long hair. every time i find myself attracted to a long-haired person, i try to convince myself that i must be interested for some reason other than hair. but every single time i reach the same conclusion: normally, i would have no interest in this person whatsoever, but look! he has long hair. i would like to have his children.

goddamn motherfucking blogs

2007-01-22T12:53:00.000-08:00

i would like to use this first post to express just how much i fucking hate this site. i am perfectly willing to admit that i may have forgotten both my username and password for this site. the thing that i have not forgotten, however, is my fucking e-mail address. there is absolutely no reason why this site should not recognize it. after trying for over an hour to recover my previous account, i have decided to abandon the effort and creat a new one that will hopefully last for more than one post. that is all.